When it doesn’t happen

Hello there! We are taking it back to December when I was excited about an opportunity that didn’t happen. But now I know it was all on God’s timing. 

Sometimes we have to be thankful it didn’t happen. 

Enjoy!

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You’re excited to start a new opportunity, you await that special call…and then…or you’ve met a great person, you connect well with them…and then…REJECTION!

Immediately, you show up to the pity party, early, crying the blues to all your family and friends and indulge in making yourself feel bad for yet another failed opportunity, relationship, or situation.

Apparently there are 14 steps to different types of rejection according to wikihow. Who has time for that? I surely don’t and need the recovery to be quick if I can help it. THANKS!

But in all seriousness, rejection is tough. How can we continue to experience it and still keep going? How do we ultimately react?  Well, guess what? Surprise, you’re going to be OK.

Too many times we blame ourselves for not getting that job or the relationship/friendship that didn’t work out. Honestly, the first reaction to rejection, at least for me, is the feeling of “darn, what happened” or “how did I mess this up.” Nope, take those words right on back because there’s something on the other side of the rainbow – a pot of gold.

Recently, I was looking forward to an opportunity that didn’t work out. I was hopeful and then the rejection came. First, I sunk and then felt like I let a couple of people down. But, these were the same people that said “well, that was their loss.” I quickly snapped out of it -well, maybe after a day- and moved on.

The next day the rainbow showed up and a past client called me to do some work- the pot of gold was right there.

Once we realize all things will work out for us and not against us, true peace takes place and rejection becomes a redirection. At that moment, when you accept rejection with a different outlook, you realize it wasn’t for you and move on quickly. This is also the revelation.

Everything is not according to the way YOU want the chips to fall. God’s plan is not man’s plan. He actually laughs when we make plans – insert a huge laugh here -pwhahhhahaha- just like that.

There’s always something bigger and better for you. When rejection comes your way and stands in front, step around it, say thank you, and await the next opportunity. I promise, it’s coming.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

P.S. Thank you to @nopressurenodiamondz…this one’s for us!

 

 

 

Boy lessons for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is Sunday and I’m reminded of the two little men in my life (and the princess) who continue to teach me lessons. This is a post from late last year as I’m always thankful they picked me and celebrate being “mommmmmyyyyy” everyday :o)

Enjoy!

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Boy Lessons

As a child, I always wanted two kids- a boy and a girl. plans. Fast forward and we’re in with two boys and a girl – apparently God had other plans.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard enough about parenting boys -like their awkward bodily functions and the other “fun” stuff. But they also teach some really cool lessons, especially to their moms, and I learned one this week.

As I prepared for my first mother/son dance, I was super excited. Hair done – check. Nails painted-check. Suit and tie -check. We are ready to hit the dance floor.

But in the midst of this first dance mode and doing everything,  my kindergartner taught me about accepting help (even when it may not be necessary). For my three-year-old, we’ll just say #workinprogress, but he’s not far behind his brother :o).

“No, I got it,” and “Mommy will do it”(all for that matter) was the response before this post. Then I took a step back, caught my words, and realized what they were doing and what I needed to learn. Accept help even in the simplest form.

I’ve always been independent and took pride it getting the job done without the help of others. However, sometimes this can hinder our progress when we don’t receive the help openly or acknowledge that we even need it.

Our kids constantly see us multitasking. Surely they think we’re crazy so they step in like any other person would. And for boys, it’s even more important they learn the importance of helping and being gentlemen. This is what makes a good husband, father, and friend.

So as we prepare to leave for our mother/son dance, I am looking forward to taking it all in. I remain thankful I truly have a child that helps when he sees it right in front of him. I’m sure as we hit the door, he’ll likely get my keys, open the door, and walk me into the dance… and that’s what it’s all about.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

Simon says “Family”

Summer is coming and there will be plenty of family gatherings around the grill, at the pool, or in the park. This week was a lesson in what is most important when it comes to family – love.  No matter what happens, they’re still family.

This post is from this past holiday season. I enjoyed it because with all our quirkiness, we always come right back together… because Simon says so :o)

Smooches!

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Alex, I’ll take family for $500!

The holidays are around the corner which equals family time. Whether for Thanksgiving or Christmas, let the planning begin . . . with a glass of wine.

This year for Thanksgiving we are diverting from our usual plans and heading to the Blue Ridge Mountains in Georgia. We’re looking forward to a beautiful cabin, wooded scenery, and devouring a festive meal.

Considering that my family is primarily women, you quickly learn to adapt to the personalities:

The matriarchs (the aunts/moms) who pretty much rule the land and the kitchen for that matter. We love them and they love their family. But please don’t cross them . . . or else.

The cousins who pretty much do their thing and keep in contact with one another albeit Facebook or text messaging. When we do call one another, it’s usually to gossip like any other family. Tee hee :o)

The men who keep to themselves and interject when they see the women making absolutely no sense. It happens from time-to-time. Well maybe all the time. LOL.

Last, there are the youngest three munchkins who happen to be my kids. They provide comic relief ALL THE TIME; amusing at most gatherings. Yep, that’s my kid dancing to The Dramatics or Michael Jackson and off beat.

So back to the cabin trip for 13. Easy-peasy right? That’s 13 different personalities. BREATHE.  This week, the Gods challenged us but it worked out. Quickly came the teachings, lessons, and a dose of patience:

  1. Every family member has an opinion – don’t take it personal. It wouldn’t be “fun” if everyone was the same, right? Sure.
  2. All budgets are not made equal. Attempt to find a happy money medium and make it work. Count the pennies wisely.
  3. This is not the time to suddenly announce “I’m vegan.” Get in where you fit in. Have a nice salad with that dinner roll.
  4. Someone will complain about something that everyone else agrees upon. No worries, just nip it in the bud and move on.
  5. Acknowledge that you’re family . . . like the same blood line. You’ll have to speak to each other (or maybe not if you choose) so keep your cool. It’s not that serious.
  6. Have answers to all the odd questions beforehand and be prepared to explain yourself a couple of times. Patience luv!
  7. Think before you speak. And then think again. Then give your Alex Trebek answer “What is Crazy Family 2016.”
  8. Take a moment to step back if you get flustered. Then come back to it. Your head will be much clearer. And ask for help when you need it.
  9. Make sure there’s plenty of wine.
  10. Make sure there’s plenty of wine.

But in all honesty, be thankful for family and what they bring to the Thanksgiving or Christmas table. Without them, I’m not sure where I’d be. #MyVillage

Because the sun always comes out after the rain. . .

Sun Taylor

 

Take your time and take time for you

This one is a #tbt post when I first started my blog last year. I can’t begin to tell you how much of a priority it is, especially now, for me to take time for myself and to plan my day. If you don’t work, NOTHING else will work.

Smooches!


Paint your toe nails (original post)

Husband: What’s that?
Me: My weekly planner or “Slay Your Day,” planner.
Husband: Weird look
Me: What?
Husband: So what are doing?
Me: Uhh, planning my day for tomorrow
Husband: Why?
Me: So I stay on task, investing into myself. MAYBE you should try it (side eye)
Husband: Crickets . . .

So, just know that I have a great husband who is all about his business and “slaying,” if there’s a male version of that. But every now and then,  I say things just to see his reaction . . . or not . . . love you honey :o).

Now back to me. Last week I was dealing with a lot and suddenly became overwhelmed. My oldest son wasn’t using his “listening ears or walking feet” in school, I was attempting to post to social media for our business, and then felt like I could NOT get through my to-do list. And then I broke down, let it all out, and got back up again.

Being at home these days, I feel like there’s always something to be done. But have realized, I want to get everything done without truly planning it out; like helping my husband with the barber shop, getting my media and events company on the right track, while caring for my 6 month-old and thinking about my other two kids. I was all over the place and needed to get focused. Luckily, The Slay Your Day Planner for bloggers by Mattie James, or anyone for that matter, came to my rescue (shout out to the BFF. Thank you!)

We all become overwhelmed when we don’t take time to plan and take a moment for ourselves. This week I learned the importance of time blocks and being realistic with how much time something will really take me.

I started (and hope to keep it up):

  1. Morning: meditating for 5 minutes, praying, and reading a chapter in the bible
  2. Throughout the day: Attempting to think more positively even when things go wrong.
  3. Evening: filling out my planner for the next day with detail – even down to what I plan to wear. It saves a lot of time.

Remember to also take time for yourself at least for 5 minutes everyday. STOP. BREATHE. And then paint your toenails. It takes patience and you can’t rush through it…or your toes come out looking all types of crazy and so will you.

Take your time and take time for you.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

A look in the mirror: part deux

This post from last fall was a reality check . While, I tend to be confident in how I look, after having a baby the mirror and I were at odds – it’s called postpartum weight.

Well . . .almost 20lbs less later and counting, we’re friends again (my mirror and I) and we’ll remain that way no matter what I look like.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

Enjoy!

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We have all done it to ourselves- took a look in the mirror and was not happy. For me, it’s usually based around failing a fitness goal or not feeling my normal self.

This past weekend I decided to go to TJ Maxx. I was excited because it’s been a while and I wanted to fill a void in my closet. As you all may know, I love accessories but you can’t wear them with the wrong outfit. So me and baby girl headed out the door.

And then it happened. I got to the store and didn’t want to look in the mirror. Now, we all know TJ Maxx has PLENTY of mirrors. In fact, there was one on every aisle. I avoided them all. I went around them, looked away, and finally just got my items and left the store. At that moment I knew I was not myself.

Later that night I was still in a funk. Then the hubby asked what’s wrong. Silence. He asked again. Silence . . . and then tears. Now he was concerned.

I finally said I wasn’t happy about how I looked and while shopping, I didn’t look in the mirror. His response was probably the best I have heard in a while.

“Babe, you JUST had a baby 7 months ago.” He also mentioned I was older now and that our bodies don’t bounce back like they used to…uhh insert record scratching sound effect here. Anyway, he was right. I was being too hard on myself.

We all tend to be this way when it comes to our goals. If we don’t meet them, or it doesn’t look good, we beat ourselves up. Stop doing that. When you do your best, that’s what matters most.

Thankfully these past two weeks, I’ve started exercising again- for real this time – and watching the diet. However, when you invest in yourself, it takes time; be patient.

After the conversation, I got myself together, prayed, and kept it moving- literally. I think I needed to hear those words and I’m thankful he realized it. I’ve done the weight loss thing before post baby and came out shinning.

So let me put on these shades, do my thing to lose the extra pounds, look in the mirror, and be thankful for who I am.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

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A repeat of seasons

This is a repeat of a blog post from about six months. We all go through changes and must remain thankful for the seasons. Enjoy!

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Season: a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature. This was the most fitting definition for today’s post so thank you Merriam-Webster.

We all have our favorite seasons – winter, spring, summer, or fall. But what about the seasons of life? What happens when it’s not your “season,” and self encouragement dwindles?

Speaking candidly, my current season is not at it’s best. We’ll say I’m in winter but I’d prefer summer. And last week I hit a pivotal moment.

Since having my baby girl in February, I have been a domestic engineer over the last nine months. That means no job that I clock into, but still “working” this thing called life. As I have mentioned before, we have three kids and own two businesses. I’ll let you fill in the blanks.

Quite honestly, it has been tough. This past week I started to feel like I wasn’t making any good strides professionally – as I reenter the workforce- and low self-esteem and lack of self encouragement was turning into self pity and shame.

Then I started to pick on myself. But one of my girls told me quickly “You have tell that (self pity and shame) heffa she gotta go. Kick her right out the door. She ain’t welcome here.”

So I did. I kicked her out the door and welcomed my new friend “you got this.” She’s cute and much nicer.

In most cases, challenging circumstances or seasons don’t last. They tend to pass and make us stronger and wiser anyway.

Now . . . fast forward a week later and my best foot is right in front of me. I have also relearned the importance keeping your head up through the tough times; we’re our biggest cheerleaders and supporters. And more importantly, there’s beauty in every season:

Winter is cold, but the first dust of snow is quite delightful.

Spring brings showers, but our days are lighter and brighter.

Summer is hot, but a sunset is always breathtaking and amazing.

Fall brings leaves galore, but the colors are bountiful and beautiful.

Be thankful for the seasons.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

Perfect in his own right

This a guest post by Shirley Anne Smith. Thank you for a wonderful perspective.

In 2015, I celebrated two weddings- my brothers and mine- as well as the announcement of the pregnancy of my third child. Most people would say that I was on cloud nine and experiencing the best life had to offer. What most people didn’t know however: I was facing one of the hardest moments in parenting with my oldest child. The child whom everyone nicknamed the “perfect child,” was now failing two classes in the fourth grade. Yes, you read it correctly, the fourth grade.

Let me go back just a little to provide context. My son was tested for gifted in kindergarten. He scored an IQ rate of 134 at just five years old. Most children are not tested for gifted until the first or sometimes the second grade going into third.

Because of a high score, the teachers and administrators recommended that we skip from kindergarten to second grade. My argument against skipping grades was mostly based on emotional capacity to adjust to social norms of second grade while only being five years old. The school was such a great advocate- they created a gifted curriculum for my son since gifted didn’t start until second grade.

Now back to the beginning of the story. It’s his fourth grade year, I’m engaged, and everything in my life has halted due to his failing school. Everyone I consulted told me it was because he had experienced too many life changes – a new soon to be stepdad, a new school, and a new house. And while I didn’t argue that wasn’t completely true, I also know our children are more resilient than we give them credit for. Needless to say, I felt horrible and almost guilty for all the “good” life had given us.

I blamed myself time and time again and felt his grades reflected poorly on my parenting and the type of mother I was.  For whatever reason, I could not help or teach my son how to be the perfect son or a perfect student.

Fast forward and now he’s an A and B student.  While it’s not the Principal Honor Roll (like it was in the past) I had to learn to redefine success and attainment for both of us. The B’s -he has worked really hard for; the A’s – most came naturally.

Sometimes we all have one moment or another where we want perfection and we do everything to seek or maintain perfection.  I no longer allow the A’s to define him, myself, or the relationship I have with him. And while I have learned to be more vigilant of school work and different learning methods, he is still the perfect son. I also have enjoyed being more active in not only his academic trajectory but also the school administration and practices to meet a student’s wide array of abilities.

What was once a very hard time in my life with many shed tears, has now allowed my son and I a platform to discuss a new normal . . . because the sun always comes out after the rain.

Ronald if you ever read this, I love you my perfect child.

 

Do what you can’t

“Change jobs…nah, you can’t do that right now. You have to think about your family.”

“Buy a house? Bad idea…you can’t do that with everything else you have going on.”

 “Move out of state…no good, you can’t do that. It will ruin things and with what money?”

We have heard it all too often- YOU CAN’T. Bah humbug. Or perhaps you have talked yourself out of something because you internalized the word “can’t.” Hey, tell that dude to get out of your head because you can.

Lately, my youngest son tends to tell me “I can’t mommy” to the point where it’s driving me crazy. Before even making an attempt, he has given up…um no. My normal response- after somewhat yelling – has been “But did you try?”

The face then changes and the attempt is made to give it a whirl. Giving up without trying is not allowed – even with raising our kids. From putting on pajamas and socks to reading and writing, we…try, try, try.

Think about the times you decided to give up without even trying because you thought you couldn’t or someone told you, you can’t. What was your next move? Were you OK with not doing it? Probably not.

When someone says, “you can’t” here’s an alternate perspective- and I guess an acronym- that I made up and attempting to abide by (on these big goals of mine) when others don’t believe it can happen:

C– First, Collecting thoughts to make what “can’t” . . .  actually happen puts me in a good frame of mind. Take a moment, put everything to pen and paper – or on your computer- and roll with it.

A– Finding the Answers by researching and knowing the ins-and-outs so the plan is successful. Honestly, this helps me stay on top of my game and shows others just how wrong they were in the first place #flipshair

N -Procrastination is not an option; get moving Now. If you’re going to make it happen, then make it happen. No play, play because you’re serious… right? I thought so :o) #getgoingalready

T– We tend to think it’s not our time or we’re told the time isn’t right. Timeliness is determined by you when it comes to what you want to do. . . and we should always make time for what we want to do.

People will continue to tell you all the things that you can’t do and that’s OK. But guess what? Nine times out of ten, I think they’re probably saying it out of their own fear, failure, and doubt in you. Keep pushing for what you want.

Do what you can’t.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

 

 

 

 

In your headspace

 

After coming home from running errands, you walk into the house and there’s the kitchen: dishes in the sink, pots and pans on the stove, kids still in pajamas. In your head you think, “I can’t believe this; it’s been three hours since I left and this place still looks like this?”

You’re getting ready for bed and start to wind down for the evening. Just as you’re about to lay back and relax, your significant other wants to run down a list of things that need to get done TOMORROW. You sit back thinking, “Really? We’re talking about this now?”

And last, you get a cryptic text message you can’t decipher and your brain freezes. Your immediate thought: “Is it me or does this sound a little off.” But you proceed to try and understand and then it goes south very quickly. Now, it’s a text message war.

Welcome to life and how we ALL have various headspaces. These are scenarios I’ve encountered (or put my dear husband through) as I continue to learn and define headspace. More on that later.

A couple of months back when I started this blog and up until recent conversations with dear friends (shout out to L. Daley and T. Conley- Ziyad!), we talked about our own headspace and the headspace of others.

We all have ideas as to how we think things should be and how others should think; but does that ever really work out? Nope.

Now, my definition of headspace – a frame of mind and how you individually think about things based upon your experiences. And because we all have different experiences, understanding headspace is accepting our differences.  

Back to those scenarios in the beginning.

Lesson one with kitchen mission: Cleaning and attempting to be organized is my thing. And even more now with keeping up three kids. But that’s me. Not everyone is in this same headspace and I’m learning to be fine with it.

Lesson two with to-do lists: Everyone does things on their time with a certain priority. Putting an immediate time stamp may not be the best way to go about it. Back up wifey (and hubby); you don’t live in the same headspace as your spouse. Figure out a way to compromise.

Lesson three with texting:  I am still working on this. I can’t even begin to tell you where my headspace is when it comes to this at times. But I can say that picking up the phone when you can’t decipher the message can get you in the right headspace.

So get your mind right and remember: headspace is not about being right or someone else being wrong; it’s about understanding the differences in our head.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor