Boy lessons for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is Sunday and I’m reminded of the two little men in my life (and the princess) who continue to teach me lessons. This is a post from late last year as I’m always thankful they picked me and celebrate being “mommmmmyyyyy” everyday :o)

Enjoy!

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Boy Lessons

As a child, I always wanted two kids- a boy and a girl. plans. Fast forward and we’re in with two boys and a girl – apparently God had other plans.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard enough about parenting boys -like their awkward bodily functions and the other “fun” stuff. But they also teach some really cool lessons, especially to their moms, and I learned one this week.

As I prepared for my first mother/son dance, I was super excited. Hair done – check. Nails painted-check. Suit and tie -check. We are ready to hit the dance floor.

But in the midst of this first dance mode and doing everything,  my kindergartner taught me about accepting help (even when it may not be necessary). For my three-year-old, we’ll just say #workinprogress, but he’s not far behind his brother :o).

“No, I got it,” and “Mommy will do it”(all for that matter) was the response before this post. Then I took a step back, caught my words, and realized what they were doing and what I needed to learn. Accept help even in the simplest form.

I’ve always been independent and took pride it getting the job done without the help of others. However, sometimes this can hinder our progress when we don’t receive the help openly or acknowledge that we even need it.

Our kids constantly see us multitasking. Surely they think we’re crazy so they step in like any other person would. And for boys, it’s even more important they learn the importance of helping and being gentlemen. This is what makes a good husband, father, and friend.

So as we prepare to leave for our mother/son dance, I am looking forward to taking it all in. I remain thankful I truly have a child that helps when he sees it right in front of him. I’m sure as we hit the door, he’ll likely get my keys, open the door, and walk me into the dance… and that’s what it’s all about.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

Perfect in his own right

This a guest post by Shirley Anne Smith. Thank you for a wonderful perspective.

In 2015, I celebrated two weddings- my brothers and mine- as well as the announcement of the pregnancy of my third child. Most people would say that I was on cloud nine and experiencing the best life had to offer. What most people didn’t know however: I was facing one of the hardest moments in parenting with my oldest child. The child whom everyone nicknamed the “perfect child,” was now failing two classes in the fourth grade. Yes, you read it correctly, the fourth grade.

Let me go back just a little to provide context. My son was tested for gifted in kindergarten. He scored an IQ rate of 134 at just five years old. Most children are not tested for gifted until the first or sometimes the second grade going into third.

Because of a high score, the teachers and administrators recommended that we skip from kindergarten to second grade. My argument against skipping grades was mostly based on emotional capacity to adjust to social norms of second grade while only being five years old. The school was such a great advocate- they created a gifted curriculum for my son since gifted didn’t start until second grade.

Now back to the beginning of the story. It’s his fourth grade year, I’m engaged, and everything in my life has halted due to his failing school. Everyone I consulted told me it was because he had experienced too many life changes – a new soon to be stepdad, a new school, and a new house. And while I didn’t argue that wasn’t completely true, I also know our children are more resilient than we give them credit for. Needless to say, I felt horrible and almost guilty for all the “good” life had given us.

I blamed myself time and time again and felt his grades reflected poorly on my parenting and the type of mother I was.  For whatever reason, I could not help or teach my son how to be the perfect son or a perfect student.

Fast forward and now he’s an A and B student.  While it’s not the Principal Honor Roll (like it was in the past) I had to learn to redefine success and attainment for both of us. The B’s -he has worked really hard for; the A’s – most came naturally.

Sometimes we all have one moment or another where we want perfection and we do everything to seek or maintain perfection.  I no longer allow the A’s to define him, myself, or the relationship I have with him. And while I have learned to be more vigilant of school work and different learning methods, he is still the perfect son. I also have enjoyed being more active in not only his academic trajectory but also the school administration and practices to meet a student’s wide array of abilities.

What was once a very hard time in my life with many shed tears, has now allowed my son and I a platform to discuss a new normal . . . because the sun always comes out after the rain.

Ronald if you ever read this, I love you my perfect child.

 

Um No…but Merry Christmas!

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas! It’s the season of getting cranked up for that special day attending this party and that one and buying gifts galore. Sure.

Well, this year there are a couple of things I decided NOT do. It’s really more so to keep my cool and not stress over the minutia.  I’ve learned so many lessons along the way when it comes to celebrating Christmas – and most important, honoring the birth of Jesus.

However, commercialism has geared us away from what should be the true focus “of the most wonderful time of the year.” Like family, good friends, and being thankful you made it to another Christmas because a lot of people didn’t.

With that being said, here is my top five list of  “um no ” not this Christmas – with three days left to spare:

  1. Going overboard with baby’s first Christmas. – I love my new little one and she’s my only girl. But . . . there is no need to go crazy on gifts and more gifts. Do you remember your very first Christmas? Exactly. However, I will get several pictures – and honestly it’s going to be about loving on her that morning.
  2. Buying toys and more toys for the boys – As you all know, I also have two boys who have taken over practically every room in this house with toys. And then the big toys- why? I don’t need to see the toy before I walk into the room. Their grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins have this covered anyway. I’ll move out the old to replace the new – Goodwill here I come.
  3. Christmas cards going to Terry, Sherry, and Kerry – I can recall sending Christmas cards to all my wedding guests post our nuptials years back. Just kidding. My point: instead of sending and signing all those cards (Where is my hubby?), New Year’s cards will go out to the nearest and dearest. For the others, smile, you know I luv you.
  4. Mass text messages to a gazillion people on Christmas Day – I was guilty of this in my former life, ain’t gonna lie. It gets messy because most reply ALL. Well “message rates apply.” Like when my aunt Bea responds seven times because she doesn’t know how to use her phone. I have a couple of those in my life #lmbo.
  5. Eating everything in sight because it’s the holidays – Really? This means I’ll have to be carried away from the table. And all my hard work for the last couple of months goes down the toilet – literally. LOL. I will eat but within reason. Being healthy is a lifestyle and takes commitment; I’ve learned this the hard way.

This is one of the best times of the year as people come together to help each another. If you took away the gifts and all the other nonessential buzz of Christmas, would it still be Christmas? “Um yessss!” Merry Christmas.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain. . .

Sun Taylor

Boy Lessons

As a kid, I always wanted two kids- a boy and a girl. But apparently God had other plans.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard enough about parenting boys -like their awkward bodily functions and the other “fun” stuff. But they also teach some really cool lessons, especially to their moms, and I learned one this week.

As I prepared for my first mother/son dance, I was super excited. Hair done – check. Nails painted-check. Suit and tie -check. We are ready to hit the dance floor.

But in the midst of this “first dance mode” and doing everything,  my kindergartner taught me about accepting help (even when it may not be necessary). For my three-year-old, we’ll just say #workinprogress, but he’s not far behind his brother :o).

“No, I got it,” and “Mommy will do it”(all for that matter) was the response before this post. Then I took a step back, caught my words, and realized what they were doing and what I needed to learn. Accept help even in the simplest form.

I’ve always been independent and took pride it getting the job done without the help of others. However, sometimes this can hinder our progress when we don’t receive the help openly or acknowledge that we even need it.

Our kids constantly see us multitasking. Surely they think we’re crazy so they step in like any other person would. And for boys, it’s even more important they learn the importance of helping and being gentlemen. This is what makes a good husband, father, and friend.

So as we prepare to leave for our mother/son dance, I am looking forward to taking it all in. I remain thankful that I truly have a child that helps when he sees it right in front of him. I am sure as we hit the door, he will more than likely get my keys, open the door, and walk me into the dance… and that’s what it’s all about.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

The blues and pink

Two boys and a baby girl. Period. But I’m still the queen of the castle, boss lady, or whatever we’re calling it these days.

We run a media and events company and own a barber shop. But the most tiresome and fulfilling job is raising our kids. The “blues” are 5 and 3 years-old and the “pink” is 6 months old. I love my kids but one thing is certain: sometimes they give me the blues with a slap of pink.

And when does it truly get to me? When I haven’t been able to get through projects, returning a call from a week ago, or whatever else because I have inserted kid one, two, or three. I used to love buying frivolous stuff – an earring tree, rhinestone stapler, or cute tissue box holder. These items were all VERY important. Things have somewhat changed – rhinestones are now on the wipes box.

commercialbreak-300x225So nowadays when I get to that point of “save me now,” I insert that commercial break. A dear friend of mine has a wonderful blog:  More Than Caleb’s Mom – I couldn’t agree more. Yes, I’m a mom, but I’m also a dancer, painter, and model in my head . . .  and to keep these wonderful dreams alive, sleep deprivation tends to be my drug of choice.

In any event, remember to take time for yourself if you’re a parent or not.  My kids are my world and I wouldn’t trade them for anything or have it any other way.

There will always be mounds of laundry, someone who has pooped in their pants, or another with a running nose who wants to play. Wipe the germs away and don’t sweat the small stuff or small people. They eventually grow up and then we miss them terribly.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor