Where my girls at?

A friend is like a star that twinkles and glows; Or maybe like the ocean that gently flows; A friend is like gold that you should treasure; And take care of forever and ever.

– Ashley Campbell

Ever really miss your girls? Of course you do and I miss mine often considering I live a good distance from most of them. Thankfully, I had the opportunity to see them tonight – live and in full effect!

As you know, we live in Atlanta and the squad is in the DMV – as in Washington, D.C., Maryland, and Virginia. When I attended Howard University– shout out to the Bison family-I met some really good friends and love that we still keep in touch after 20 years. Wait, did I just age myself?

When my husband and I decided to move to Atlanta, it took me a moment to accept there would be no more drinks at Ozios, The Meeting Place, or dinner at some restaurant we all wanted to try. And then all the other antics that bonded us even closer – ups and downs, major accomplishments, relationships, marriages, kids…you get the picture. We have done a lot together and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m blessed to be among women who truly inspire me. I love how we all come from different walks of life and stay true to each other. I also love how we can pick up a conversation from years ago and carry on like we just talked yesterday or have a conversation across the room and not say a word #thelooks.

True friends are there from the beginning to the end no matter what. They will never judge, will ALWAYS be there, and when you cry, they cry.

So on this evening as I have a cocktail with them, I’m reminded to value each and every one…where my girls at? Right here!

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

In your headspace

 

After coming home from running errands, you walk into the house and there’s the kitchen: dishes in the sink, pots and pans on the stove, kids still in pajamas. In your head you think, “I can’t believe this; it’s been three hours since I left and this place still looks like this?”

You’re getting ready for bed and start to wind down for the evening. Just as you’re about to lay back and relax, your significant other wants to run down a list of things that need to get done TOMORROW. You sit back thinking, “Really? We’re talking about this now?”

And last, you get a cryptic text message you can’t decipher and your brain freezes. Your immediate thought: “Is it me or does this sound a little off.” But you proceed to try and understand and then it goes south very quickly. Now, it’s a text message war.

Welcome to life and how we ALL have various headspaces. These are scenarios I’ve encountered (or put my dear husband through) as I continue to learn and define headspace. More on that later.

A couple of months back when I started this blog and up until recent conversations with dear friends (shout out to L. Daley and T. Conley- Ziyad!), we talked about our own headspace and the headspace of others.

We all have ideas as to how we think things should be and how others should think; but does that ever really work out? Nope.

Now, my definition of headspace – a frame of mind and how you individually think about things based upon your experiences. And because we all have different experiences, understanding headspace is accepting our differences.  

Back to those scenarios in the beginning.

Lesson one with kitchen mission: Cleaning and attempting to be organized is my thing. And even more now with keeping up three kids. But that’s me. Not everyone is in this same headspace and I’m learning to be fine with it.

Lesson two with to-do lists: Everyone does things on their time with a certain priority. Putting an immediate time stamp may not be the best way to go about it. Back up wifey (and hubby); you don’t live in the same headspace as your spouse. Figure out a way to compromise.

Lesson three with texting:  I am still working on this. I can’t even begin to tell you where my headspace is when it comes to this at times. But I can say that picking up the phone when you can’t decipher the message can get you in the right headspace.

So get your mind right and remember: headspace is not about being right or someone else being wrong; it’s about understanding the differences in our head.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

Get in formation

“I see it, I want it, I stunt, yellow bone it,
“I dream it, I work hard, I grind ’til I own it.”
~Beyonce – Formation

Guess what? Change is looking you right in the eye. Why? Because it is time to get what you want, how you want, and when you want- no darn excuses.

It’s 2017, the year I turn 40 (and several of my friends too if they haven’t already). When 40 is on the horizon, things just change and I’m ready for a transformation.

With that being said, on Wednesday we decided to help ourselves and others start to transform into what they would like to become. The details on this 14 day transformation challenge are here…so get it going.

During the 14 days, we’re providing great tips and daily challenges from spirituality and inspiration, hair and beauty, health and wellness, finance, fun, and business.

The team:

  • LaWanda (@momsdestiny) – The beauty and brains behind this formation; she’s always on point and knows her stuff like no other.
  • Donita (@donitalynnette1) – If you are looking for some relaxation, call this natural beauty. She has great oils to make you feel like you can take on anything.
  • Zerline (@zerlinehughes) – She has a beautiful smile and spirit to match. Oh, and she teaches kick butt Zumba classes and will bring that Cali sunshine your way.
  • Felisha (@fefeinc) – As her IG page describes, she “build brands, businesses, people, and movements.” Please come correct. She’s the real deal.
  • Adrin (@sevenandcompany) – We call him Seven. He is no joke when it comes to hair and beauty. We all need a lucky number Seven in our life. Get one.
  • Tiffanie (@agoaldigger) – She is lovely and “vibrates to a different frequency”… and everyone loves her. She’s also “a good book to read ” and will keep you inspired.
  • Janice (@fitbudgetma) – This one right here…if only I could borrow her body every summer. She is always fit and fly, knows finances, and can thrift shop like no other.

And finally, me. You all know my story and I’ll be providing tips on f-u-n and experience. Girls just wanna have fun…right?

So what does this transformation really means? It’s not about where you are, but where you plan to go. This past year was tough and I needed a new beginning when the clock struck midnight on January 1. I truly believe everything happens for a reason -and this was when I realized I needed a change; otherwise , where would I be?

Join us and remember: the transformation comes after you get in formation.

Because the sun always come out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

 

#ICant

A friend calls and says she may stop by. You’re in the middle of trying out a new gadget (that you probably didn’t need anyway) while answering emails – basically busy. All of the sudden that Alley McBeal moment kicks in (do you remember that show?) and you think of a way to respond quickly. What do you do?

A. Tell her “sure, that’s fine” as you grit your teeth on the other end of the phone because you know it’s just not a good time.

B. Play sick and say “I’m really not feeling good, maybe later in the week, ” because you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

C. Speak truth “I can’t today, I have a lot to do so maybe next week,” as you hear her sigh on the other end.

The correct answer for me is C. Before, it would have been A. Why do we accommodate when we know we just can’t (at the moment) –  doing too much. Please, no more.

My days are usually planned, so rarely are there readjustments.  With “To Do Lists ” sky high that take me two weeks to get through , “I can’t”  is fine and  I’m OK with that.

The lesson I have learned: I’d rather they be mad at me, rather than me be mad at myself; true friends and family should understand anyway. Love to all.

. . .  Because the sun always comes out after the rain.

Sun Taylor

Are you paying . . . rent?

This is a no drama and no KRAZIES zone. It takes up time and for those in our lives that create the drama, they aren’t paying rent – so time to move on out.

Case in point – you hear all about the woes of a friend again, give the advice again, and the cycle begins again! What? Are you paying rent in my head, taking up brain space, to help you figure it out . . . AGAIN? Nope. You’re being evicted.

We love our family and friends. But these repetitive conversations seem to do nothing to help change their situation. They take time out of our day – the same time that could be used catching up on your O Magazine, painting your nails, or how about just doi3DNotice2ng nothing. I have three kids. I don’t’ even have enough time to deal with their lovely personalities.

I will always, however, try to help my loved ones, with limitations and the bossiness I carry apparently. I like to call it assertive (tee hee!) When drama approaches, I nip that right in the bud. We all have our own “ish” and I’m not sure I can deal with your “ish” and mine too. But I still love you :o)

So for the next draining conversation headed your way, politely hand them the eviction
notice.  It’s tough but ultimately the person on the other end will, hopefully, love you for being candid, leave you out of it, and figure it out on their own. #Deuces.

. . . Because the sun always comes out after the rain.

Sun Taylor