Follow my lead

Hubby: Hey, I’m getting ready to call my parents
Me:  Everything OK?
Hubby: Yes . . . (pause)
Me: Look of concern
Hubby: Just follow my lead
Me: Immediate side eye

Follow my lead? Not this natural born leader #uhhsure. While the conversation went well with my in-laws (I think; smile mom!) I was a little anxious because who’s interested in being a follower? Squinched face.

If you’re human – then you add husband/wife and mother/father—you’re constantly leading in some shape, form, or fashion. Leading what’s for dinner, leading homework, leading at work to get that promotion, leading your family and friends down a better path, and finally leading yourself up to bed at the end of an exhausting day. Always leading.

When was the last time you actually followed someone? And why did you decide it was OK? You know you’ve been told otherwise.

From the time we enter the world to landing that first job and beyond, we’re supposed to L-E-A-D. “Be a leader”, “make sure you show leadership,” or “lead like a champ” have been ingrained into our hearts and heads forever.

But what if I don’t feel like leading? Can I sit down and follow? Yes, but with good reason and trust.  And it doesn’t mean your leadership card gets snatched away.

When you trust a person enough to follow, you’re setting aside your own beliefs and motives by allowing them to take over as pilot as you co-pilot. It’s perfectly fine in personal relationships, i.e. marriage, and professional relationships.

Yes, I gave side eye when I was told “follow my lead,” but knew my husband wasn’t going to lead me astray. I trust him.

And finally, as my mother-in-law has told me “following based on trust, love, and example is the only way to go.” I’ll leave that right there.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

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4-0

 40 – A bottle containing 40 fluid ounces of malt liquor beer. The beer is of low quality and fairly cheap to buy ~ Urban Dictionary

This past Monday, I turned 40. But luckily I’m not of “low quality and fairly cheap to buy.” But pass me an Olde English and pour out a little liquor for 39; she’s gone.

In all seriousness, I had a great time, received wonderful gifts, and was happy to see another year. “Life begins at 40,” or “40 and fabulous” started to roll in quickly and I appreciated them all. But I do think I was already fabulous #adjustingcrown.

I did notice my temperament— with some things— immediately changed. It was a reawakening of “you got this and don’t forget it.” Five days in and several thoughts have come to mind with 4-0:

Who cares what others think
I have never really been one to care what others think (besides my husband and perhaps 2.5 others) But now, I REALLY don’t. Think what you want. Those are your thoughts anyway.

Call it like you see it
I used to tread lightly in certain areas and with certain people. Deuces to that. Whether it’s good or bad, be ready for nice, nasty, or nice-nasty. You pick which one. We’ll still be friends. . . maybe.

“Ain’t nobody got time that”
With three kids, work, life, and my new age, I really don’t have time for games or play-play. It’s straight up about business, at least sometimes. I still love you though.

Step off and away from . . .
The scale! I had grandeur plans to lose 50 lbs for my 40th. Guess what? That didn’t quite happen. But, I feel great and have learned to accept me for who I am: lips, hips, and a bag of chips. Whaa?

Root for yourself
Ups and downs in my 39 years has taught me to go for the win for you. Being selfish is not always being selfless. Remember that moms and dads.

Do what you want
And in the process be unapologetic. We get caught up in what we should do as opposed to what we really want to do. Have a plan and do you boo!

And finally, remain thankful. Never let the things you want make you forget about the things you have.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

Fathers: My Favorite

In celebration of Father’s Day, I wanted to say thank you to all fathers that go beyond the call of duty.

I especially want to thank my father who has been there during those important moments and someone I look to for advice; my father-in-law who has always welcomed my thoughts and feelings with open arms; and my husband who continues to be my hero and my rock.

Here are a couple of quotes that speak to what a father is in so many different ways (source: LA Daily News).

“It is a wise father that knows his own child.”

— William Shakespeare

Anyone who tells you fatherhood is the greatest thing that can happen to you, they are understating it.”

— Mike Myers

“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.”

— George Herbert

“This is the price you pay for having a great father. You get the wonder, the joy, the tender moments – and you get the tears at the end, too.”

— Harlan Coben

“It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father.”

— Pope John XXIII

“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”

— Jim Valvano

“Father’s Day is hopefully a time when the culture says, ‘This is our moment to look at who our men and boys are.’”

— Michael Gurian

“I decided in my life that I would do nothing that did not reflect positively on my father’s life.”

— Sidney Poitier

“Real fatherhood means love and commitment and sacrifice and a willingness to share responsibility and not walking away from one’s children.”

— William Bennett

“Fatherhood is a very natural thing; it’s not something that shakes up my life but rather it enriches it.”

— Andrea Bocelli

“My father used to say that it’s never too late to do anything you wanted to do. And he said, ‘You never know what you can accomplish until you try.’”

— Michael Jordan

 Because the sun always comes out after the rain. . .

Sun Taylor

A “moment”

Need a moment, grab a Twix. Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

We all go through trying times, situations, and “interesting” people that call for a breather. From our spouses and kids to family and friends,  sometimes a #%& moment is required.

Most of my moments come with my kiddos – that’s two toddlers and one kindergartner – but I have learned to adapt… and red wine helps (wink).

So what do you do when you need a moment? Walk away, smile, or throw something – lol. Well, I had a lot of moments this week  with all types of ish calling for a Twix.

because-i-said-soOne of your toddlers keeps asking “why?”
This called for a moment of breathing in and out and I’m still dealing with it. I had to remember he’s only 3 years old and learning everything, thus the “why” all the time. If you are a stay at home mom, please take moments as much as you need. I usually retreat to my room BY myself and do nothing for as long as I can.

frackle-nackle

A client reaches out; “frackle-nackle-bull”
After working on a proposal for an entire day, you realize you have to walk away from the project. It was somewhat shady from the start and I should have realized…damnnn Gina! I had to refocus and get back on top of my game. This was when my moment called for a jumbo Twix. Nom, nom, nom.

what-you-talkin-bout-willis-quote-1When you’re told you’re selfish . . . hmm
This about sent me over the top. But I didn’t respond with words. I calmed my boiling skin and had the look of  Arnold. Sometimes you have to keep it moving; if people don’t literally walk in your shoes, they will never understand you. This moment called for a”drank.” Cheers, two times. Buh Bye!

laundry

“Overloaded” with laundry and everything else
Laundry piling up makes me “feel some type a way.” This weekend, I just did it all as opposed to waiting on the laundry fairy. This was a defining moment: clean laundry brought the clarity I needed and took the overloaded feeling away.

At the end of the day, we all need moments to be with ourselves and/or by ourselves. Take all the moments you need throughout the day to get through the day. Sun Taylor’s orders :o)

And as I put my shades back on and ride into the sunset, please know that my alone time a.k.a moment is sometimes for your safety.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

 

 

 

 

 

 

A look in the mirror

We have all done it to ourselves- took a look in the mirror and was not happy. For me, it’s usually based around failing a fitness goal or not feeling my normal self.

This past weekend I decided to go to TJ Maxx. I was excited because it’s been a while and I wanted to fill a void in my closet. As you all may know, I love accessories but you can’t wear them with the wrong outfit. So me and baby girl headed out the door.

And then it happened. I got to the store and didn’t want to look in the mirror. Now, we all know TJ Maxx has PLENTY of mirrors. In fact, there was one on every aisle. I avoided them all. I went around them, looked away, and finally just got my items and left the store. At that moment I knew I was not myself.

Later that night I was still in a funk. Then the hubby asked what’s wrong. Silence. He asked again. Silence . . . and then tears. Now he was concerned.

I finally said I wasn’t happy about how I looked and while shopping, I didn’t look in the mirror. His response was probably the best I have heard in a while.

“Babe, you JUST had a baby 7 months ago.” He also mentioned I was older now and that our bodies don’t bounce back like they used to…uhh insert record scratching sound effect here. Anyway, he was right. I was being too hard on myself.

We all tend to be this way when it comes to our goals. If we don’t meet them, or it doesn’t look good, we beat ourselves up. Stop doing that. When you do your best, that’s what matters most.

Thankfully these past two weeks, I’ve started exercising again- for real this time – and watching the diet. However, when you invest in yourself, it takes time; be patient.

After the conversation, I got myself together, prayed, and kept it moving- literally. I think I needed to hear those words and I’m thankful he realized it. I’ve done the weight loss thing before post baby and came out shinning.

So let me put on these shades, do my thing to lose the extra pounds, look in the mirror, and be thankful for who I am.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

 

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The rare art of silence

It is hard for me to keep quiet sometimes. And then if you add the fact that I talk loud, silence tends not to be golden for your girl.

I can talk to ALOT of people in a day. It’s crazy if you think about who you come across in 24 hours.

But then there are times when you just need to shut it up or zip it. And this week, I decided to put the art of silence to the test by listening, rather than talking and cutting someone off mid-sentence. I know, how rude! I’m working on it.

The first conversation was with the husband  – right, big surprise. While there were a trillion ways I could have responded, I decided not to respond at all . . .  silencing myself. The conversation continued with no argument (this time) and I was OK. You know that was hard.

Second, came a conversation with my oldest son who reminded me I forgot to say something while he was being told what to do. Wait…what? How old are you again? KINDERGARTEN, right? OK, just checking. I just looked at him in silence –  “the Mama look”- and kept it moving.

And the last conversation was with a colleague. I had to shush it and listen. Needless to say, it was calming. There were also a couple of deep breaths in there.

For someone who studied communications, this was actually a cinch . . . umm no.  But what I did learn was silence definitely helps you listen better, think about whether it’s worth responding, and puts your thoughts in check.

So the next time when you need to shush and sit down somewhere, please do so. You might just be saving yourself. Then walk away, flick your hair, and give them the side eye . . . o0ps did I say that?

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor