Boy lessons for Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is Sunday and I’m reminded of the two little men in my life (and the princess) who continue to teach me lessons. This is a post from late last year as I’m always thankful they picked me and celebrate being “mommmmmyyyyy” everyday :o)

Enjoy!

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Boy Lessons

As a child, I always wanted two kids- a boy and a girl. plans. Fast forward and we’re in with two boys and a girl – apparently God had other plans.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard enough about parenting boys -like their awkward bodily functions and the other “fun” stuff. But they also teach some really cool lessons, especially to their moms, and I learned one this week.

As I prepared for my first mother/son dance, I was super excited. Hair done – check. Nails painted-check. Suit and tie -check. We are ready to hit the dance floor.

But in the midst of this first dance mode and doing everything,  my kindergartner taught me about accepting help (even when it may not be necessary). For my three-year-old, we’ll just say #workinprogress, but he’s not far behind his brother :o).

“No, I got it,” and “Mommy will do it”(all for that matter) was the response before this post. Then I took a step back, caught my words, and realized what they were doing and what I needed to learn. Accept help even in the simplest form.

I’ve always been independent and took pride it getting the job done without the help of others. However, sometimes this can hinder our progress when we don’t receive the help openly or acknowledge that we even need it.

Our kids constantly see us multitasking. Surely they think we’re crazy so they step in like any other person would. And for boys, it’s even more important they learn the importance of helping and being gentlemen. This is what makes a good husband, father, and friend.

So as we prepare to leave for our mother/son dance, I am looking forward to taking it all in. I remain thankful I truly have a child that helps when he sees it right in front of him. I’m sure as we hit the door, he’ll likely get my keys, open the door, and walk me into the dance… and that’s what it’s all about.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

In your headspace

 

After coming home from running errands, you walk into the house and there’s the kitchen: dishes in the sink, pots and pans on the stove, kids still in pajamas. In your head you think, “I can’t believe this; it’s been three hours since I left and this place still looks like this?”

You’re getting ready for bed and start to wind down for the evening. Just as you’re about to lay back and relax, your significant other wants to run down a list of things that need to get done TOMORROW. You sit back thinking, “Really? We’re talking about this now?”

And last, you get a cryptic text message you can’t decipher and your brain freezes. Your immediate thought: “Is it me or does this sound a little off.” But you proceed to try and understand and then it goes south very quickly. Now, it’s a text message war.

Welcome to life and how we ALL have various headspaces. These are scenarios I’ve encountered (or put my dear husband through) as I continue to learn and define headspace. More on that later.

A couple of months back when I started this blog and up until recent conversations with dear friends (shout out to L. Daley and T. Conley- Ziyad!), we talked about our own headspace and the headspace of others.

We all have ideas as to how we think things should be and how others should think; but does that ever really work out? Nope.

Now, my definition of headspace – a frame of mind and how you individually think about things based upon your experiences. And because we all have different experiences, understanding headspace is accepting our differences.  

Back to those scenarios in the beginning.

Lesson one with kitchen mission: Cleaning and attempting to be organized is my thing. And even more now with keeping up three kids. But that’s me. Not everyone is in this same headspace and I’m learning to be fine with it.

Lesson two with to-do lists: Everyone does things on their time with a certain priority. Putting an immediate time stamp may not be the best way to go about it. Back up wifey (and hubby); you don’t live in the same headspace as your spouse. Figure out a way to compromise.

Lesson three with texting:  I am still working on this. I can’t even begin to tell you where my headspace is when it comes to this at times. But I can say that picking up the phone when you can’t decipher the message can get you in the right headspace.

So get your mind right and remember: headspace is not about being right or someone else being wrong; it’s about understanding the differences in our head.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

2016 Face Off

Let’s face it: 2016 was a humdinger. There were several life altering events that taught me a lot about myself. Luckily, my tribe held me up very high because there were moments when I wanted to give up and give in.

From a job not being what I anticipated, restarting my business, going in for emergency gall bladder surgery, etc., etc. –  I had not planned for several “lessons” in 2016.

And then there was the craziness with African American males and injustice, bombings, the election (don’t get me started) and then we lost several icons, even as the year is ending. Huhhh.

The best way I made it through – with my face. When you “fix your face,” it gets your mind right. I’m sure my kids agree.

So . . . here are my 2016 faces with the lessons attached:

January – It may be cold outside, but no need to show a mean face in spite of how others may be treating you. Continue to smile – it makes people nervous and it will warm you from within.

February – Yes, it’s the month of love. Show your kissy face because everyone loves to be kissed. It also helps with wrinkles and shows off that beautiful red lipstick you like. Blow them a kiss and sashay away.

March/April – Spring has sprung.  Get out of your funk and smell the darn roses. Put on your enthusiastic face and cute shades – but show no shade. They’re not worth it and you’ll be ai-ight!

May – Have the look of “MAY I help you?” It’s the season of weddings, graduations, and whatever else. Everyone needs help – so grit and grin. It not worth the argument because you’ve already won by keeping your cool. Keep it movin’.

June – Summer is getting ready to start. You should have a big smile. And give someone a hug for that matter. The summer is too short and hot- don’t “sweat” the small stuff boo. Get your sunblock and enjoy what’s in front of you.

July/August – It’s hotter than. . .and school will start soon for the kids. Wait, did you say kids and school? Yes! Smile BIG time. You will soon get your time back; well maybe not. (confused face).

September – The summer is ending and fall is beginning. It’s a change in seasons and worth a reflective look on how you have changed thus far. Be encouraged and show a face of gratitude. Seasons are a good thing.

October – Refer to January. It may be getting cold again but stay warm by smiling no matter what the odds look like. Have the faith and determination and show it through your actions. You got this.

November/December – The end of 2016 is coming. Be grateful for all the blessings this year – because it could have been worse. Lift your face, say “thank you,” and then close you eyes and pray for an even better 2017.

This was my year and I remain thankful for the faces and lessons. Be happy with where you have come from, where you are at, where you are going, and put on your face accordingly.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

Happy New Year!

 

 

Alex, I’ll take family for $500

The holidays are around the corner which equals family time. Whether for Thanksgiving or Christmas, let the planning begin . . . with a glass of wine.

This year for Thanksgiving we are diverting from our usual plans and heading to the Blue Ridge Mountains in Georgia. We’re looking forward to a beautiful cabin, wooded scenery, and devouring a festive meal.

Considering that my family is primarily women, you quickly learn to adapt to the personalities:

The matriarchs (the aunts/moms) who pretty much rule the land and the kitchen for that matter. We love them and they love their family. But please don’t cross them . . . or else.

The cousins who pretty much do their thing and keep in contact with one another albeit Facebook or text messaging. When we do call one another, it’s usually to gossip like any other family. Tee hee :o)

The men who keep to themselves and interject when they see the women making absolutely no sense. It happens from time-to-time. Well maybe all the time. LOL.

Last, there are the youngest three munchkins who happen to be my kids. They provide comic relief ALL THE TIME; amusing at most gatherings. Yep, that’s my kid dancing to The Dramatics or Michael Jackson and off beat.

So back to the cabin trip for 13. Easy-peasy right? That’s 13 different personalities. BREATHE.  This week, the Gods challenged us but it worked out. Quickly came the teachings, lessons, and a dose of patience:

  1. Every family member has an opinion – don’t take it personal. It wouldn’t be “fun” if everyone was the same, right? Sure.
  2. All budgets are not made equal. Attempt to find a happy money medium and make it work. Count the pennies wisely.
  3. This is not the time to suddenly announce “I’m vegan.” Get in where you fit in. Have a nice salad with that dinner roll.
  4. Someone will complain about something that everyone else agrees upon. No worries, just nip it in the bud and move on.
  5. Acknowledge that you’re family . . . like the same blood line. You’ll have to speak to each other (or maybe not if you choose) so keep your cool. It’s not that serious.
  6. Have answers to all the odd questions beforehand and be prepared to explain yourself a couple of times. Patience luv!
  7. Think before you speak. And then think again. Then give your Alex Trebek answer “What is Crazy Family 2016.”
  8. Take a moment to step back if you get flustered. Then come back to it. Your head will be much clearer. And ask for help when you need it.
  9. Make sure there’s plenty of wine.
  10. Make sure there’s plenty of wine.

But in all honesty, be thankful for family and what they bring to the Thanksgiving or Christmas table. Without them, I’m not sure where I’d be. #MyVillage

Because the sun always comes out after the rain. . .

Sun Taylor

 

Boy Lessons

As a kid, I always wanted two kids- a boy and a girl. But apparently God had other plans.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard enough about parenting boys -like their awkward bodily functions and the other “fun” stuff. But they also teach some really cool lessons, especially to their moms, and I learned one this week.

As I prepared for my first mother/son dance, I was super excited. Hair done – check. Nails painted-check. Suit and tie -check. We are ready to hit the dance floor.

But in the midst of this “first dance mode” and doing everything,  my kindergartner taught me about accepting help (even when it may not be necessary). For my three-year-old, we’ll just say #workinprogress, but he’s not far behind his brother :o).

“No, I got it,” and “Mommy will do it”(all for that matter) was the response before this post. Then I took a step back, caught my words, and realized what they were doing and what I needed to learn. Accept help even in the simplest form.

I’ve always been independent and took pride it getting the job done without the help of others. However, sometimes this can hinder our progress when we don’t receive the help openly or acknowledge that we even need it.

Our kids constantly see us multitasking. Surely they think we’re crazy so they step in like any other person would. And for boys, it’s even more important they learn the importance of helping and being gentlemen. This is what makes a good husband, father, and friend.

So as we prepare to leave for our mother/son dance, I am looking forward to taking it all in. I remain thankful that I truly have a child that helps when he sees it right in front of him. I am sure as we hit the door, he will more than likely get my keys, open the door, and walk me into the dance… and that’s what it’s all about.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

#ICant

A friend calls and says she may stop by. You’re in the middle of trying out a new gadget (that you probably didn’t need anyway) while answering emails – basically busy. All of the sudden that Alley McBeal moment kicks in (do you remember that show?) and you think of a way to respond quickly. What do you do?

A. Tell her “sure, that’s fine” as you grit your teeth on the other end of the phone because you know it’s just not a good time.

B. Play sick and say “I’m really not feeling good, maybe later in the week, ” because you don’t want to hurt her feelings.

C. Speak truth “I can’t today, I have a lot to do so maybe next week,” as you hear her sigh on the other end.

The correct answer for me is C. Before, it would have been A. Why do we accommodate when we know we just can’t (at the moment) –  doing too much. Please, no more.

My days are usually planned, so rarely are there readjustments.  With “To Do Lists ” sky high that take me two weeks to get through , “I can’t”  is fine and  I’m OK with that.

The lesson I have learned: I’d rather they be mad at me, rather than me be mad at myself; true friends and family should understand anyway. Love to all.

. . .  Because the sun always comes out after the rain.

Sun Taylor