When it doesn’t happen

Hello there! We are taking it back to December when I was excited about an opportunity that didn’t happen. But now I know it was all on God’s timing. 

Sometimes we have to be thankful it didn’t happen. 

Enjoy!

———

You’re excited to start a new opportunity, you await that special call…and then…or you’ve met a great person, you connect well with them…and then…REJECTION!

Immediately, you show up to the pity party, early, crying the blues to all your family and friends and indulge in making yourself feel bad for yet another failed opportunity, relationship, or situation.

Apparently there are 14 steps to different types of rejection according to wikihow. Who has time for that? I surely don’t and need the recovery to be quick if I can help it. THANKS!

But in all seriousness, rejection is tough. How can we continue to experience it and still keep going? How do we ultimately react?  Well, guess what? Surprise, you’re going to be OK.

Too many times we blame ourselves for not getting that job or the relationship/friendship that didn’t work out. Honestly, the first reaction to rejection, at least for me, is the feeling of “darn, what happened” or “how did I mess this up.” Nope, take those words right on back because there’s something on the other side of the rainbow – a pot of gold.

Recently, I was looking forward to an opportunity that didn’t work out. I was hopeful and then the rejection came. First, I sunk and then felt like I let a couple of people down. But, these were the same people that said “well, that was their loss.” I quickly snapped out of it -well, maybe after a day- and moved on.

The next day the rainbow showed up and a past client called me to do some work- the pot of gold was right there.

Once we realize all things will work out for us and not against us, true peace takes place and rejection becomes a redirection. At that moment, when you accept rejection with a different outlook, you realize it wasn’t for you and move on quickly. This is also the revelation.

Everything is not according to the way YOU want the chips to fall. God’s plan is not man’s plan. He actually laughs when we make plans – insert a huge laugh here -pwhahhhahaha- just like that.

There’s always something bigger and better for you. When rejection comes your way and stands in front, step around it, say thank you, and await the next opportunity. I promise, it’s coming.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

P.S. Thank you to @nopressurenodiamondz…this one’s for us!

 

 

 

Simon says “Family”

Summer is coming and there will be plenty of family gatherings around the grill, at the pool, or in the park. This week was a lesson in what is most important when it comes to family – love.  No matter what happens, they’re still family.

This post is from this past holiday season. I enjoyed it because with all our quirkiness, we always come right back together… because Simon says so :o)

Smooches!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Alex, I’ll take family for $500!

The holidays are around the corner which equals family time. Whether for Thanksgiving or Christmas, let the planning begin . . . with a glass of wine.

This year for Thanksgiving we are diverting from our usual plans and heading to the Blue Ridge Mountains in Georgia. We’re looking forward to a beautiful cabin, wooded scenery, and devouring a festive meal.

Considering that my family is primarily women, you quickly learn to adapt to the personalities:

The matriarchs (the aunts/moms) who pretty much rule the land and the kitchen for that matter. We love them and they love their family. But please don’t cross them . . . or else.

The cousins who pretty much do their thing and keep in contact with one another albeit Facebook or text messaging. When we do call one another, it’s usually to gossip like any other family. Tee hee :o)

The men who keep to themselves and interject when they see the women making absolutely no sense. It happens from time-to-time. Well maybe all the time. LOL.

Last, there are the youngest three munchkins who happen to be my kids. They provide comic relief ALL THE TIME; amusing at most gatherings. Yep, that’s my kid dancing to The Dramatics or Michael Jackson and off beat.

So back to the cabin trip for 13. Easy-peasy right? That’s 13 different personalities. BREATHE.  This week, the Gods challenged us but it worked out. Quickly came the teachings, lessons, and a dose of patience:

  1. Every family member has an opinion – don’t take it personal. It wouldn’t be “fun” if everyone was the same, right? Sure.
  2. All budgets are not made equal. Attempt to find a happy money medium and make it work. Count the pennies wisely.
  3. This is not the time to suddenly announce “I’m vegan.” Get in where you fit in. Have a nice salad with that dinner roll.
  4. Someone will complain about something that everyone else agrees upon. No worries, just nip it in the bud and move on.
  5. Acknowledge that you’re family . . . like the same blood line. You’ll have to speak to each other (or maybe not if you choose) so keep your cool. It’s not that serious.
  6. Have answers to all the odd questions beforehand and be prepared to explain yourself a couple of times. Patience luv!
  7. Think before you speak. And then think again. Then give your Alex Trebek answer “What is Crazy Family 2016.”
  8. Take a moment to step back if you get flustered. Then come back to it. Your head will be much clearer. And ask for help when you need it.
  9. Make sure there’s plenty of wine.
  10. Make sure there’s plenty of wine.

But in all honesty, be thankful for family and what they bring to the Thanksgiving or Christmas table. Without them, I’m not sure where I’d be. #MyVillage

Because the sun always comes out after the rain. . .

Sun Taylor

 

Take your time and take time for you

This one is a #tbt post when I first started my blog last year. I can’t begin to tell you how much of a priority it is, especially now, for me to take time for myself and to plan my day. If you don’t work, NOTHING else will work.

Smooches!


Paint your toe nails (original post)

Husband: What’s that?
Me: My weekly planner or “Slay Your Day,” planner.
Husband: Weird look
Me: What?
Husband: So what are doing?
Me: Uhh, planning my day for tomorrow
Husband: Why?
Me: So I stay on task, investing into myself. MAYBE you should try it (side eye)
Husband: Crickets . . .

So, just know that I have a great husband who is all about his business and “slaying,” if there’s a male version of that. But every now and then,  I say things just to see his reaction . . . or not . . . love you honey :o).

Now back to me. Last week I was dealing with a lot and suddenly became overwhelmed. My oldest son wasn’t using his “listening ears or walking feet” in school, I was attempting to post to social media for our business, and then felt like I could NOT get through my to-do list. And then I broke down, let it all out, and got back up again.

Being at home these days, I feel like there’s always something to be done. But have realized, I want to get everything done without truly planning it out; like helping my husband with the barber shop, getting my media and events company on the right track, while caring for my 6 month-old and thinking about my other two kids. I was all over the place and needed to get focused. Luckily, The Slay Your Day Planner for bloggers by Mattie James, or anyone for that matter, came to my rescue (shout out to the BFF. Thank you!)

We all become overwhelmed when we don’t take time to plan and take a moment for ourselves. This week I learned the importance of time blocks and being realistic with how much time something will really take me.

I started (and hope to keep it up):

  1. Morning: meditating for 5 minutes, praying, and reading a chapter in the bible
  2. Throughout the day: Attempting to think more positively even when things go wrong.
  3. Evening: filling out my planner for the next day with detail – even down to what I plan to wear. It saves a lot of time.

Remember to also take time for yourself at least for 5 minutes everyday. STOP. BREATHE. And then paint your toenails. It takes patience and you can’t rush through it…or your toes come out looking all types of crazy and so will you.

Take your time and take time for you.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

In your headspace

 

After coming home from running errands, you walk into the house and there’s the kitchen: dishes in the sink, pots and pans on the stove, kids still in pajamas. In your head you think, “I can’t believe this; it’s been three hours since I left and this place still looks like this?”

You’re getting ready for bed and start to wind down for the evening. Just as you’re about to lay back and relax, your significant other wants to run down a list of things that need to get done TOMORROW. You sit back thinking, “Really? We’re talking about this now?”

And last, you get a cryptic text message you can’t decipher and your brain freezes. Your immediate thought: “Is it me or does this sound a little off.” But you proceed to try and understand and then it goes south very quickly. Now, it’s a text message war.

Welcome to life and how we ALL have various headspaces. These are scenarios I’ve encountered (or put my dear husband through) as I continue to learn and define headspace. More on that later.

A couple of months back when I started this blog and up until recent conversations with dear friends (shout out to L. Daley and T. Conley- Ziyad!), we talked about our own headspace and the headspace of others.

We all have ideas as to how we think things should be and how others should think; but does that ever really work out? Nope.

Now, my definition of headspace – a frame of mind and how you individually think about things based upon your experiences. And because we all have different experiences, understanding headspace is accepting our differences.  

Back to those scenarios in the beginning.

Lesson one with kitchen mission: Cleaning and attempting to be organized is my thing. And even more now with keeping up three kids. But that’s me. Not everyone is in this same headspace and I’m learning to be fine with it.

Lesson two with to-do lists: Everyone does things on their time with a certain priority. Putting an immediate time stamp may not be the best way to go about it. Back up wifey (and hubby); you don’t live in the same headspace as your spouse. Figure out a way to compromise.

Lesson three with texting:  I am still working on this. I can’t even begin to tell you where my headspace is when it comes to this at times. But I can say that picking up the phone when you can’t decipher the message can get you in the right headspace.

So get your mind right and remember: headspace is not about being right or someone else being wrong; it’s about understanding the differences in our head.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

Imagine that

“There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” ~Nelson Mandela

Are you living the life you imagined?  Maybe, maybe not. Imagining the life and living that life are two separate things. We all have dreams and aspirations as to what we would LIKE… and then there’s reality.

My current reality – I’m home with two of my kids, working on getting more clients, attempting to help my husband with our barber shop, and running the household on practically coffee fumes. Period.

My imaginative life – A kick butt PR consultant, working at home with good paying clients which afford me the opportunity to travel every once in a while (nationally and internationally), and do what I want financially; I’d also like to still be with my family whenever: like making those mid-day school performances and having lunch with my husband on a Wednesday, on my own time. I am not asking for much, right? LOL

This is where imagination has to take over reality if I want to fulfill what I believe God intended for me. But how do you do it? One day at a time. In order to really get this done, here are some of my thoughts on getting to the imaginative:

  1. Baby Steps
    We have all heard it, but do we do it? I see my daughter taking baby steps every day and she just keeps going. We have to continue to put one foot in front of other if we’re going to live what we imagined.
  2. Get Back Up
    Yes, “we fall down, but we get up (in my Donnie McClurkin voice). If it’s in your imagination, no one said it was going to be easy. Get your “arse” back up please. No excuses. Everyone has fallen, but the one’s that get back up. . . they live the life.
  3. The Squad
    I can’t stress this enough. My squad is supreme. When I feel like I’m off course, I have to call them. But not just the cheerleaders, the one’s that also tell me my “ish” stinks and I need to get it together. . . now.
  4. Ummm…No
    I recently talked about “no” and have learned a lot about this while being home. “No” it just might not happen today, or “no” I have to pass on that. The “no” gets me to what is really important; like focusing on the “yes” and moving closer to what I imagine for myself. 
  5. Being Honest
    As the saying goes, “honesty is the best policy.” Are you honest with yourself and what you’re truly capable of? I battle this constantly with self doubt. We are capable of so much more, but we stop at what’s easy. If it’s easy, it’s not imaginative.

Doing what is required is basic. But doing what’s required and then some, is when the life we imagined comes to fruition. Don’t settle for what you think you can do; go for what you think you can’t.

Imagine that.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain. . .

Sun Taylor

 

 

2016 Face Off

Let’s face it: 2016 was a humdinger. There were several life altering events that taught me a lot about myself. Luckily, my tribe held me up very high because there were moments when I wanted to give up and give in.

From a job not being what I anticipated, restarting my business, going in for emergency gall bladder surgery, etc., etc. –  I had not planned for several “lessons” in 2016.

And then there was the craziness with African American males and injustice, bombings, the election (don’t get me started) and then we lost several icons, even as the year is ending. Huhhh.

The best way I made it through – with my face. When you “fix your face,” it gets your mind right. I’m sure my kids agree.

So . . . here are my 2016 faces with the lessons attached:

January – It may be cold outside, but no need to show a mean face in spite of how others may be treating you. Continue to smile – it makes people nervous and it will warm you from within.

February – Yes, it’s the month of love. Show your kissy face because everyone loves to be kissed. It also helps with wrinkles and shows off that beautiful red lipstick you like. Blow them a kiss and sashay away.

March/April – Spring has sprung.  Get out of your funk and smell the darn roses. Put on your enthusiastic face and cute shades – but show no shade. They’re not worth it and you’ll be ai-ight!

May – Have the look of “MAY I help you?” It’s the season of weddings, graduations, and whatever else. Everyone needs help – so grit and grin. It not worth the argument because you’ve already won by keeping your cool. Keep it movin’.

June – Summer is getting ready to start. You should have a big smile. And give someone a hug for that matter. The summer is too short and hot- don’t “sweat” the small stuff boo. Get your sunblock and enjoy what’s in front of you.

July/August – It’s hotter than. . .and school will start soon for the kids. Wait, did you say kids and school? Yes! Smile BIG time. You will soon get your time back; well maybe not. (confused face).

September – The summer is ending and fall is beginning. It’s a change in seasons and worth a reflective look on how you have changed thus far. Be encouraged and show a face of gratitude. Seasons are a good thing.

October – Refer to January. It may be getting cold again but stay warm by smiling no matter what the odds look like. Have the faith and determination and show it through your actions. You got this.

November/December – The end of 2016 is coming. Be grateful for all the blessings this year – because it could have been worse. Lift your face, say “thank you,” and then close you eyes and pray for an even better 2017.

This was my year and I remain thankful for the faces and lessons. Be happy with where you have come from, where you are at, where you are going, and put on your face accordingly.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain…

Sun Taylor

Happy New Year!

 

 

Bridges to Birmingham

Sweet home Alabama
Where the skies are so blue
Sweet home Alabama
Lord, I’m coming home to you

So you take a road trip with family and arrive in Birmingham, Alabama where some of your roots began. Approaching the house, you think to yourself “this is really happening.”

As I walk into the living room the history lesson begins. Several pictures of second and third cousins and other family- I can’t keep up. Immediately I am confused, but for a good reason. I was finally learning some of my history.

With the blink of an eye, I hear myself (and other family) in my new found family as they introduce themselves and share stories. From the way they talk and walk to how they think and look; it all comes together and I’m taking it in.

Go back a few decades and the woman and story I’m mesmerized by is Mrs. Julia Bridges. This was my great, great grandmother; she just seemed regal with a no nonsense type of attitude – hmmm, that no nonsense sounds familiar :o).

Julia and her husband were slaves – no surprise here. Mr. Bridges killed his slave owner and that ended the story of these two “living happily ever after.” He had to go into hiding (of course he did), which I imagine happened to several other families during this time. Julia was left by herself with her family but persevered.

I honestly think I would have given up during this time, but now realize where my strength comes from. This story was within my own bloodline. It gets tough out there but this made me really think about what’s unbearable.

The eye opening moment was when I heard my cousin say, “We have been oppressed, depressed, compressed, and redressed. We can handle anything.”

And there you have it. Your history is rich and strong . . . learn it and don’t take it for granted. You can handle it Sun Taylor because Julia Bridges was able to.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain.

Sun Taylor

 

Reasons for Seasons

Season: a time characterized by a particular circumstance or feature. This was the most fitting definition for today’s post so thank you Merriam-Webster.

We all have our favorite seasons – winter, spring, summer, or fall. But what about the seasons of life? What happens when it’s not your “season,” and self encouragement dwindles?

Speaking candidly, my current season is not at it’s best. We’ll say I’m in winter but I’d prefer summer. And last week I hit a pivotal moment.

Since having my baby girl in February, I have been a domestic engineer over the last nine months. That means no job that I clock into, but still “working” this thing called life. As I have mentioned before, we have three kids and own two businesses. I’ll let you fill in the blanks.

Quite honestly, it has been tough. This past week I started to feel like I wasn’t making any good strides professionally – as I reenter the workforce- and low self-esteem and lack of self encouragement was turning into self pity and shame.

Then I started to pick on myself. But one of my girls told me quickly “You have tell that (self pity and shame) heffa she gotta go. Kick her right out the door. She ain’t welcome here.”

So I did. I kicked her out the door and welcomed my new friend “you got this.” She’s cute and much nicer.

In most cases, challenging circumstances or seasons don’t last. They tend to pass and make us stronger and wiser anyway.

Now . . . fast forward a week later and my best foot is right in front of me. I have also relearned the importance keeping your head up through the tough times; we’re our biggest cheerleaders and supporters. And more importantly, there’s beauty in every season:

Winter is cold, but the first dust of snow is quite delightful.

Spring brings showers, but our days are lighter and brighter.

Summer is hot, but a sunset is always breathtaking and amazing.

Fall brings leaves galore, but the colors are bountiful and beautiful.

Be thankful for the seasons.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

 

 

 

Crust on Your Face

Guess what? You’re not all that . . . sorry to break the news to you.

I have never thought I was “all that,” but there have been moments when I knew I had MY stuff together and the person next to me, metaphorically speaking, needed to get it together.

There are a couple of people in my life that I call my “chin checkers.” These are my go-to girls (shout out to @kalipeach, @morethanamom, @creativityflows19, @fashionablyfly) when I may need to get called out about my thoughts and attitude – quickly. They tell me the truth and I appreciate their candor about this thing we call life.

I had a rude reawakening this past week when I flew off the handle over a conversation- I knew I was right and they had to get it together . . . not so.

One thing I am big on is doing what you say with no excuses because people don’t care about your excuses; they want the job done and for you to follow through. I had planned my part of this ordeal, had my stuff together (so I thought) but then there was an issue with timing and Murphy’s Law showed up. You know the rest of the story.

I was d-o-n-e.

I have a tendency to go from 0 to 100 in about 0.001 seconds when you push the wrong buttons. But I am working on it, trust the process. So I called fashionablyfly. She checked me (nicely!) and handed me some words of wisdom: “Well . . . you’ll know the next time, for this particular client, allow for much more time. Put them in the ‘special box’ and don’t get upset.”

She was right. What I thought was enough time, clearly was not. Grrrr. I was the one with crust on my face. She also mentioned “not walking in offense,” but we’ll save that for another day.

Sometimes, you need to slow your roll and think about the issue. You can only be in control of yourself. And people, like me, need to be told sometimes or checked. It’s reality.

Besides, a crusty face isn’t cool. And I’m too cute and smart for that anyway.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

 

The sun has arrived!

Happy birthday to me! It’s officially the last year of my 30’s.  How did that happen? Anyway, welcome to Sun Taylor. This is my life as candidly as I can tell it – the good and the bad –  and how I have come out of annoying, scary, unreasonable, uncomfortable, and funny situations.

From a major weight loss after realizing the importance of health; finally ridding yourself of a toxic relationship; living again after an unfortunate death; finding a job after being laid off or fired, or just believing in yourself after a tough time – we are all put to the test but there’s always a testimony at the end.

So today  I’m thankful for the many lessons along the way. I hope I can enlighten, give someone a push, make another feel special , or encourage someone to knock it out park, so read on and follow!

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor