Follow my lead

Hubby: Hey, I’m getting ready to call my parents
Me:  Everything OK?
Hubby: Yes . . . (pause)
Me: Look of concern
Hubby: Just follow my lead
Me: Immediate side eye

Follow my lead? Not this natural born leader #uhhsure. While the conversation went well with my in-laws (I think; smile mom!) I was a little anxious because who’s interested in being a follower? Squinched face.

If you’re human – then you add husband/wife and mother/father—you’re constantly leading in some shape, form, or fashion. Leading what’s for dinner, leading homework, leading at work to get that promotion, leading your family and friends down a better path, and finally leading yourself up to bed at the end of an exhausting day. Always leading.

When was the last time you actually followed someone? And why did you decide it was OK? You know you’ve been told otherwise.

From the time we enter the world to landing that first job and beyond, we’re supposed to L-E-A-D. “Be a leader”, “make sure you show leadership,” or “lead like a champ” have been ingrained into our hearts and heads forever.

But what if I don’t feel like leading? Can I sit down and follow? Yes, but with good reason and trust.  And it doesn’t mean your leadership card gets snatched away.

When you trust a person enough to follow, you’re setting aside your own beliefs and motives by allowing them to take over as pilot as you co-pilot. It’s perfectly fine in personal relationships, i.e. marriage, and professional relationships.

Yes, I gave side eye when I was told “follow my lead,” but knew my husband wasn’t going to lead me astray. I trust him.

And finally, as my mother-in-law has told me “following based on trust, love, and example is the only way to go.” I’ll leave that right there.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

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Giving up to gain more

Sacrifice: something given up or lost <the sacrifices made by parents> – this is one definition Merriam Webster provided – how fitting for today.

You have kids and your world immediately gets smaller and there’s bigger – why you say? Because of  S-A-C-R-I-F-I-C-E.

One of the best things about being a parent is watching your kids grow knowing you helped mold them. From the way they talk and think to how they see the world – this is a reflection of your very own footprint. Nothing is more special.

And the numerous sacrifices we make in hopes of them having better lives. But what happens when the sacrifice is not what you want and you have to check yourself- quick? This was me earlier in the week.

First, let me start by saying I would go to the moon and back for my kids- and I’m certain I have. The fact that most days I’m sleep deprived is a sacrifice in itself. Picking this one up and that one, doing this project and that homework assignment, this activity and that party, etc., etc. – and then being sane for myself. Did I mention red wine is my favorite? THIS IS WHY.

But back to this week – we decided (me begrudgingly at first) that we’re going to keep our youngest son home for now, who will then start Pre-K in the fall. Welcome to Taylor Preschool and Daycare.

So the woman who has gone from working and being about her career will now be home with two kids? Clutch the pearls…WHAT? Yes, that means right after Christmas, I’ll have a 10 month old and a 3 going on 4 year-old at Casa de Taylor. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

At first, I went through several emotions in a matter of 24 hours. From “no, I am not prepared to have TWO home,” to ” I have things I want to do,” and “why, why, why??” And then the guilty mom kicked in because I felt bad for feeling this way. I quickly had to check myself  because guess what? Parenting is sacrifice – over and over again – it’s not about you.

Women and men do it everyday and I had to come to grips and realize the importance of being home. I thought about all the women and men who would love to be home with their children (including my mom who wanted to be home with me) or women who are unable to have children. I was being blessed. This was about the significance of being the best parent I can be in this moment and on this next journey.

So back to sacrifice: something given up or lost . If I have to give up whatever to gain more with my kids, it’s worth it.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain. . .

Sun Taylor

A change in flight

You plan your trip, pack your bags, and head to the airport. You are so excited to get to Rome and can’t wait to see all the sites. They call your flight and you board the plane. As you get comfortable in your seat, the captain announces right before you take off:

“There’s been a change in plans. We are heading to Rome, GEORGIA. Enjoy your flight.” First you blink then you sink. What is happening here???

This is the best way I can describe having premature babies. You make plans for one destination and end up at another. Rome, Italy was not where we were going.

It’s National Prematurity Awareness Month and this is my story of a “change in flight.”

The prognosis was not good. The doctors told us all the complications and the possible demise of our first baby while in the womb. But we took the risk, or shall I say God told us we would take the risk, because he had other plans.

Our first son, “Mr. President” had some pretty daunting stats:

  • Born 10 weeks early because the placenta failed and he wasn’t growing
  • Weight: 1 lb 13 oz with a hole in his heart (later fixed)
  • In the NICU for 93 days with all types of things going on
  • Came home on 12 medications, a pulse ox machine, oxygen tank, and feeding tube
  • Had every doctor you could name with “gist” at the end – cardioloGIST, endocrinoloGIST, gastroloGIST . . . you get the point
  • Two surgeries by the age of one – heart and hernia

Mr. President met a lot of people by the age of one and will talk to anyone now. I’m sure it had something to do with his introduction to the world.

Then there was the second born son, “Secret Service” whose stats weren’t as serious but nonetheless, it wasn’t easy for him either.

  • Born 6 weeks early due to preeclampsia
  • Weight: 4lbs 3 oz
  • In the NICU for 34 days; meds, pokes, and prods
  • Developed hydrocephalus that led to surgery after he turned one.

Secret Service is a tough cookie which I know in my heart started early. Homie don’t play that. . . and his mamma is tough too (wink!).

But there were plenty of tears and sleepless nights. All I can say is where would we all be without family and prayer? And the doctors and nurses at Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta –they were phenomenal.

We were also surrounded by friends who could offer encouragement. But in some instances, people didn’t know what to say, or in my mind, said the wrong thing. Thus, I became cautious about who I told.

Now I am open and it’s my intent to help someone who may be going through this or went through it in the past. You will make it and you will stand tall.

There were so many lesson; but the most important was to keep the faith no matter what. I always thought about the beauty of the end destination. It wasn’t easy but I knew I was going to make it there and that our kids would be fine.

The Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, Pantheon, the Spanish Steps, or the Vatican City are all splendid I imagine. But I am so thankful for that change in flight. We made it to Rome, Georgia and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor

 

 

 

 

The blues and pink

Two boys and a baby girl. Period. But I’m still the queen of the castle, boss lady, or whatever we’re calling it these days.

We run a media and events company and own a barber shop. But the most tiresome and fulfilling job is raising our kids. The “blues” are 5 and 3 years-old and the “pink” is 6 months old. I love my kids but one thing is certain: sometimes they give me the blues with a slap of pink.

And when does it truly get to me? When I haven’t been able to get through projects, returning a call from a week ago, or whatever else because I have inserted kid one, two, or three. I used to love buying frivolous stuff – an earring tree, rhinestone stapler, or cute tissue box holder. These items were all VERY important. Things have somewhat changed – rhinestones are now on the wipes box.

commercialbreak-300x225So nowadays when I get to that point of “save me now,” I insert that commercial break. A dear friend of mine has a wonderful blog:  More Than Caleb’s Mom – I couldn’t agree more. Yes, I’m a mom, but I’m also a dancer, painter, and model in my head . . .  and to keep these wonderful dreams alive, sleep deprivation tends to be my drug of choice.

In any event, remember to take time for yourself if you’re a parent or not.  My kids are my world and I wouldn’t trade them for anything or have it any other way.

There will always be mounds of laundry, someone who has pooped in their pants, or another with a running nose who wants to play. Wipe the germs away and don’t sweat the small stuff or small people. They eventually grow up and then we miss them terribly.

Because the sun always comes out after the rain . . .

Sun Taylor